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The Naked Brothers Band: The Video Game
Score: 50%
ESRB: Everyone
Publisher: THQ
Developer: Barking Lizards
Media: DVD/1
Players: 1 - 2
Genre: Rhythm

Graphics & Sound:
There is insulting the general public, then there is The Naked Brothers Band: The Video Game. I knew full well what I was getting myself into when I took on this game. Nickelodeon is a household staple here in my home. At first, I told myself that no matter what happens, I will be able to rinse it away with Rock Band or Guitar Hero. What was done to me visually, audibly and mentally may require therapy to undo.

I don't know how to react to the semi-animated characters in the front end of the game. There would be a rapid jump or flurry of motion into a pose for characters as they spoke. This pop and lock animation visually came off as a glitch. Then after the third reset, I was resigned to believe someone thought this was OK, and it was actually on purpose. The characters were fully animated during the song, even if it was a short and repetitive loop.

Hope you are not a diabetic if you try to play this game. There is more sugary bubble gum pop than Willy Wonka's entire factory. Obviously the soundtrack comes straight from TNBB courtesy of Rock University and Nickelodeon. If you have no idea what I am talking about, then you don't have tweens or teen girls living around you. Lucky you.


Gameplay:
The Naked Brothers Band: The Video Game is an attempt to take everything that is good and decent with rhythm and music games and drag them through the mud. The Naked Brothers Band consists of the members Nat, Alex, Qaasim, David, Thomas and Rosalina. You will have your opportunity to play all of the instruments you see from their TV show which includes drums, guitar, bass guitar, keyboard and cello. Let us not forget the vocals. For this, they have included a nice Logitech microphone. It's just like Rock Band without all of the clunky equipment lying around.

You can start your tour and travel from venue to venue, unlocking songs and other locations to play as you go. This is pretty standard fare for this type of game. You can enter a Jam Session and just pick what you have unlocked and rock a song or two out. Friends can join in and play cooperatively or competitively.

They boast that this game is geared towards younger gamers, as opposed to the current music game selections. I will give them this. I like the idea of a music game with more appropriate music for the age. Problem is that the practice of actually playing the game is a lesson in frustration for any age.


Difficulty:
The Naked Brothers Band: The Video Game has me continuing a practice that I have grown tired of. I have grown tired of having to explain that a game's difficulty has nothing to do with the challenge that the game provides. Instead, I am forced to report that the controls are the most difficult barrier to playing the game. The game itself is very easy to play. Too easy on things like singing. And then, resoundingly, too hard to play when it comes to the convoluted control combos they expect kids to want to endure to continue playing. I get into this part more below. Kids who idolize the show, I mean really like it not just tolerate it, had a hard time with the controls. Those who were old enough to get the combo scheme didn't want to play for long because they had better options. The microphone difficulty was like that mother who says that anyone can sing.

Game Mechanics:
Now down to why I had such a problem with The Naked Brothers Band: The Video Game. First, let's start with how you control any of the many instruments. As a standard, you wait for the note to move down a path and then strike the right combo. Using the thumb sticks and the shoulder buttons, you basically complete these combos as the notes reach the indicator. This is where there was a huge disconnect between the ages they were trying to reach and the gameplay they created. Next on my list was the fact that the beats and notes that moved down the path were off. The notes felt arbitrary and unrhythmic. Kind of hard to play a rhythm and music game without a beat. Last and probably the worst is the fact that since the kids were so frustrated with the game, all they wanted to do was sing and use the microphone. Sounds like a plan. Wait! What? No matter what sound you make, as long as there is sound going into the microphone, you can score a good and sometimes perfect score? What is this? My kids abandoned this game in less than an hour, leaving me to have to play my way through it alone.

I have to add this to the ever increasingly long list of games that had a good idea and then seemed to be released before it was ready. It had the needed intellectual property to get attention. It had an ambitious goal of many instruments played on a single controller. It had a well-established idea of using a microphone as a controller. If they got just this part right, they would have been able to bail this ship out. But without it, this Titanic mess finds the bottom of the ocean. Brands do not make games, the gameplay makes them games. Avoid the IP trap and wait for any other age appropriate game for your kids.


-WUMPUSJAGGER, GameVortex Communications
AKA Bryon Lloyd

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